Summerland
by keysandhearts
Summary: Five months after they returned from their journey to Darkness, that was when it started. But six months later was when it truly began.


They had been back for five months when it began.

Destiny Islands was the way it had always been, one season flowing into the next, passing by quickly with autumn giving way to winter, then winter to early spring. On the Islands winters were short; windy and rainy periods punctuated by bursts of sunshine. But spring—spring was what everyone waited for all year round. It lacked the uncomfortable muggy heat of summer, but was warm enough, even during the late evening hours, so that the Islanders could sit on their porches eating ice cream sold by street vendors and kids could have their barbecues on the beach. The days were perfect, irresistible and sweet, warm breezes carrying the smell of the tangy Paopu fruits which hung heavy from long bent trees, and flavored by the salt carried on morning and evening tides.

Five months after they returned, that was when it started.

It began as a glance now and then. Aquamarine eyes would meet sapphire for only seconds at a time, meaningless, miniscule and seemingly insignificant seconds, unnoticed by any but the two involved. Neither was willing to define the change, to acknowledge it, or heaven forbid, to talk about it aloud. That was what _girls_ did. Girls talked about _feelings_, but boys only _had_ them.

The glances grew longer, whole minutes passing by in which neither looked away, and as the minutes grew, became heavy with _something _(because neither was willing to put a name to it), hearts would pick up speed, palms would become sweaty, and a shock, a tingle, would work its way through both, starting with the shoulders, and working its way down through the spine, causing the hairs on their necks and arms to stand on end and goose-bumps to rise on smooth skin.

Five months after they returned from their journey in Darkness, that was when things changed.

They settled back into normalcy easily enough, and the effortlessness of this surprised them. After so long away, eighteen months for both, it should have been harder. Both had experienced the darkness, had seen what it was and what it could do, and one had been all but lost to it. Still, this particular Realm of Light was familiar to them, was comfortable in a way that was both uninteresting and satisfying. School started, classes began, old friends were greeted somewhat warily then warmly, and new ones were made. But through this new beginning they had one another, and that too was familiar.

They didn't go out to the small island the way that they once had. Too many painful memories were there, even though the chalk cave paintings remained a testament to the friendship that had been tested, and finally cemented during their adventure. If they wanted to spend time together it was mostly up in Riku's room or on the beach sitting side by side. Sometimes Kairi would join them but mostly she sensed that they wanted—needed to be alone together, to reassure themselves that nothing had changed.

Everything had changed.

Five months after they returned from saving all the worlds, that was when they found a new world—one that wasn't defined by land or the color of the sky.

Sora had taken to coming home with Riku after school, both of them behind in their studies because of their long time away. They took extra classes in order to catch up, one in the morning at six-thirty, an hour and a half before anyone else arrived, and one after their last normal period of the day had ended. Both planned to attend summer school. Sora was less happy with this than Riku, who seemed resigned to his fate. Conversely, Sora would rather have fought a thousand Heartless than spend his mornings, afternoons, and summer catching up on Math and the dreaded English.

After school Sora would join Riku in his room. He would sprawl comfortably on his stomach across his friend's bed, staring at his textbook (when he wasn't staring at Riku), with a frown on his face as he tried to understand hanging modifiers or polynomial functions. Riku would sit across from him at his desk, swiveling back and forth in his chair and teasing Sora, the Great Keyblade Wielder, who couldn't manage to form a proper sentence without spelling errors, bad syntax, or improper word use.

Mostly Riku would do this because it was familiar—teasing Sora—but the larger part of his motive was just to watch his friend pout, to see his lips form that pucker that would cause his lower lip to jut out.

In Riku's honest moments with himself he would wonder how those lips felt. Would they be as soft as they looked, would they be as pillowy, would they taste as sweet?

Every now and then Sora would look up and catch Riku's eyes on him. He always knew when Riku was staring. He could feel his friend's gaze like a heated brush that kissed his face and swept over him, and that heat would trap itself under his skin, warming it until his cheeks were rosy and his clothes felt too tight, too close on his body. Then his chest would begin to rise and fall unevenly in order to simply _breathe _through it.

Sometimes he questioned himself…Was he only imagining the heat behind Riku's glances or was it real? And if it _was_ real then what did that mean for him? For them?

He tried not to ask himself those questions often. For so long constant change and upheaval had been a part of his life. And he was okay with that. He had enjoyed his adventures and he would enjoy the next one when it came along, but this…was different. He wasn't sure he wanted that kind of change for them.

That uncertainty would last only until the next time he looked up and met Riku's stare. Then the heat would flood him again and he would become sure for those few moments that he_ did_ want this, whatever it was that burned between them.

_He_ knew what it was. But did Riku?

He never spent the night at Riku's anymore and his best friend never asked him to. Sora knew, and Riku did too on some level he wasn't ready to acknowledge, that if Sora_ did_ spend the night that the leap would be taken, the decision made, and it would no longer be heated glances. It would be heated touches as well.

A month after the glances began Riku went out on his first date. It wasn't that he really wanted to. Far from it. The girl was someone he'd never met, had in fact never even noticed. She was pretty in the girl-next-door kind of way, with long blonde hair that reached the middle of her shoulder blades and large blue eyes. She reminded him a little of Naminé, truth be told, but she lacked his old friend's sad smile, her obvious empathy.

She was everything he would have wanted had he never left the island. She seemed sweet and when she had come up to him in the hall after the bell rang for lunch, she had smiled shyly and asked him if he was busy for the weekend.

He admired her courage. Most of the girls in the school would stand in packs and would simply stare at him and giggle. Every now and then one of them would be daring enough to say 'hello', typically followed by even more giggling.

Despite his admiration for her bravery he had hedged.

"I'm not sure about my schedule. I'll have to let you know."

Her shy smile had wilted at the edges a bit but she had nodded her head and told him to 'let her know when he was sure'.

He didn't want to admit to himself why he felt so ambivalent, and at first he made excuses. They would probably have nothing in common anyway. What was he supposed to talk to her about? His years spent in the Realm of Darkness as a Keyblade Wielder? His traitorous actions which had brought him so close to his own destruction? Or the fact that he was responsible for destroying the Islands while Sora had been the one to restore them?

Sora.

In the end he couldn't lie to himself. Sora was the reason he was hesitant to say yes. It was that unspoken _something_ between them, those heated sensations superimposed by erotic tension, layered in strong emotion, and backed by years of shared experiences.

Later that day, Sora had come over as usual. He lay in his customary position on Riku's bed, chewing on the end of his pencil and kicking his feet in the air, the movement hypnotic to Riku's confused brain.

"Sora—"

Sora bit down once more on his pencil and Riku heard it crunch slightly between his teeth before he looked up from his book, a questioning smile on his face.

"Yeah?"

"What would you think about…" Riku hesitated, unsure how to phrase the question. He was unsure even if this was something he _should_ be asking Sora. Was he asking permission or trying to gauge Sora's reaction? He really didn't know, and the thought had him floundering with the sentence left unfinished.

"Riku?" Sora's quizzical expression broke him out of his bemused reverie and he met his friend's blue, blue eyes, swallowing down the nervous butterflies that took wing as he lost himself in the cerulean depths.

"Sora, I…"

"Jeez Riku, I'm the one who's supposed to be bad at English," Sora teased, electric blue light dancing in his eyes at his amusement.

"Someone asked me out on a date at lunch today," he blurted suddenly. It was finally out and he breathed a sigh of relief that he had managed it, but the sigh became trapped in his throat at the look on Sora's face. Something resembling bewilderment and then stunned pain crossed his face before it went blank.

Seconds later the empty expression was replaced by a smile, the corners of Sora's mouth tilting until creases formed on his cheeks.

But his eyes were wiped clean of that happy electric light.

Still, when Sora spoke his words came out cheerful and he bounced slightly on the bed in an excited manner.

"Really? Is it anyone I know? Where are you going to take her? Is she nice? Is she pretty?"

The babble of questions caused Riku's mouth to momentarily hang open in astonishment.

Sora was okay with it? Didn't he care?

Something that felt like lead dropped low into the pit of his stomach. Hurt welled up, clogging his throat and making it difficult to respond.

"She's…" he cleared his throat before trying again. "She's very pretty and she seems really nice."

"That's great, Riku!" Sora said enthusiastically, that same smile still plastered to his face. Riku ducked his head and his silver bangs, still too long from their journey abroad, fell into his eyes. He was unwilling in that moment to look at Sora, to see his delight over the news that Riku would be going out with, and possibly even kissing, someone else.

"Yeah…Great." He tried with all of his might to hide the desolation behind the words and he must have succeeded because Sora's expression didn't change.

"Great!" Sora reiterated and this time there was something off about the word so that Riku could hear it. Rather than the upward lilt the word demanded it was spoken with a downward turn at the end so that the syllable came out more sarcastic than cheerful.

But when he looked up at Sora, his friend's face was buried in his book and five minutes after that Sora excused himself, saying that he had promised his mother that he would be home for dinner.

The next day Riku found the girl who had asked him out for that weekend and told her yes. Her shy smile brightened to a joyful one and Riku tried to return it although he was certain that he failed miserably.

The rest of the day passed in a despondent haze. He would have said Sora avoided him except that his best friend smiled happily enough at him in the hall on the way to his locker.

Riku didn't see Sora at lunch but that didn't necessarily mean anything. It wasn't as though they spent every lunch period together. Sora had other friends and so did he and they sometimes went their separate ways during scheduled breaks. Still, the feeling that Sora was deliberately ducking him remained.

But was that actually a good sign? If Sora was avoiding him then that meant that he cared, right?

Unfortunately the evidence wasn't enough for him to build a case on and his insecurities were only compounded by his friend's absence.

Saturday, the Big Day, rolled around, and Riku went to the movie theatre to meet Naomi with a heavy heart and barely concealed despair. At first he tried to hide it. Naomi was as nice as she had first appeared with a soft kind of humor and an attractive demeanor. By the time the movie was over however he was unable to mask his misery and as he walked her home he knew that Naomi could sense it. When she finally asked him if something was wrong he told her that he had a headache. Not the best excuse and a rather overused one, but by the end of the three hours it was the best he could come up with. As they reached her door she turned back to look at him with a sad sort of smile on her face. In that moment, under the orange of twilight, she reminded him once again strongly of Naminé.

"You should tell him," she whispered softly as she reached up to brush a kiss to his cheek.

"What?"

Riku wasn't certain that he had heard her correctly but before he could get an answer or ask again what she meant, she was gone, slipping through her front door with one last sad smile and a wave.

He walked back to his house in a daze, his confused thoughts a bitter jumble of memories of he and Sora, of everything they had gone through. Added to this was his new bewilderment over what he actually felt for his best friend _now. _

How long had he felt this way? But then, hadn't it always been Sora? Even when he thought maybe he and Kairi could…no, Kairi had never really been a possibility. His seeming crush on Kairi had only been a contrivance to compete with Sora, a means to form and keep a deeper connection to his younger friend.

But hadn't it been more than that?

Hadn't his attention to Kairi merely been a way to keep and hold _Sora's_ attention?

By the time he made it up the walkway to his house he was practically stomping he was so pissed with himself. He and Sora had been through too much together for him to be a coward now. He was tired of running away. If there was one thing he had learned in the Dark Realm it was that running away solved nothing and made everything worse. Sora had never run away from anything in his life. It was time he started following his friend's example.

He smiled at the idea of it. Sora could be so dumb sometimes. But here he was, wanting to be more like him. Then again he had already admitted as much to Sora on that long ago day on the Dark Beach.

He stood in front of his door and closed his eyes in memory. If only they had never left. If only he could have stayed there forever with Sora.

The door abruptly opened and Riku's eyes widened as his green eyes locked on blue.

Sora.

"Hi," Sora said. The greeting was neutral enough but Sora's eyes were sad when they looked at him. Riku swallowed down his fears, reached forward and touched Sora's cheek with trembling fingers.

"Hi."

Sora's eyes widened for a moment before they closed, lids and long lashes coming down to hide any expression. Instantly Riku was terrified that he had done something wrong but then Sora leaned his cheek into his fingers and Riku moved his hand so that his palm cupped Sora's face. He stroked his thumb over the top of Sora's cheek so that he felt his lashes brush butterfly kisses along its length.

When Sora finally opened his eyes Riku had crowded himself into the hallway against the closed door. Sora was very close, his head barely reaching Riku's chin, and he lifted his friend's face up to his own before leaning down and covering his mouth with his own.

From there everything seemed to explode into color and motion. The color of Sora's eyes, the blue a shade darker, almost midnight as he returned his kiss in a frenzy of lips and tongue. Sora tore at Riku's shirt, ripping it open at the collar so that he could press hungry kisses to his neck and collar bone. In response, he grabbed Sora's mess of spikes, holding him still as he shoved his tongue into the wet cavern of his mouth. Their kisses grew sloppy, wet, but still extremely erotic, and Riku shoved the wet muscle against Sora's tongue again and again until he began growling in the back of his throat, the sound as hungry as any animal starved of food for too long.

This—this was what he'd been craving.

Sora tasted impossibly like sea salt-ice cream, both salty and sweet, and he anchored the smaller boy to him by the hips, pressing himself into him, trying to meld them together as close as they could come.

It wasn't close enough.

Riku backed Sora up until they were slowly climbing the stairs in rapid fits and starts, hot hungry kisses interspersed with lazy sensual ones. Sora sucked on Riku's tongue, the sensation so sharp that it caused a sudden tightening in his stomach and groin. He groaned loudly into Sora's mouth and the younger boy made a humming sound in the back of his throat. He picked him up by the back of his thighs, straddling and lifting them so that they fit perfectly around his waist and they both moaned at the friction it caused to their most sensitive places. Sora rolled his hips into him and Riku could feel his eyes begin to roll back at the sensation.

"Your room," Sora panted against Riku's cheek.

"I can't move," Riku groaned back, hitching up Sora further against him and causing the smaller boy to make a high keening sound at the resulting sensation of his hardness brushing against Riku's.

"Move, Riku," Sora panted again, his blue eyes nearly black with lust as he rolled his hips again.

Riku growled and took the rest of the stairs two at a time with Sora clinging to him like a vine.

The walk down the hallway seemed endless. Sora was still squirming against him and pressing wet kisses to his cheek. He began to nibble at Riku's ear and he nearly lost it then and there, nearly took Sora down to the floor in the hallway right outside his bedroom.

Unending seconds later, they made it inside Riku's room. He'd never remember how they made it onto the bed or how Sora ended up on top of him, his shirt off and his pants already half-unzipped. All he remembered was heat and spit and the throbbing pleasurable pain in his crotch as Sora rode him. He could feel the underside of Sora's balls rubbing against the head of his cock and both cried out at the chafing gratification.

Sora left his spot perched over Riku and he nearly screamed in protest until the younger boy slid down and unzipped him from his jeans. Riku's hardness sprang thick and hard against his stomach and he groaned as Sora gripped it by the base. His fingers and palm were sweaty and hot, the sensation almost too good, and for a moment Riku was certain that he was going to lose it, was going to come just from the feeling of Sora's hand on and around him.

Sora looked up at Riku's face as if trying to gauge his expression, the blue of his eyes dark and electric and the golden-tan of his skin covered in a light sheen of moisture. Everything about him was beautiful, so beautiful to Riku that his galloping heart stopped for a moment before it began beating again harder than ever.

"Sora—"

His words were lost as Sora lowered his head and licked at the tip of his erection. Riku threw back his head, trying his best not to pant, to hold it together and make it last. It became incredibly hard to do when Sora's mouth swallowed him down as far as he could go, his tongue catching the underside of the head with every bobbing motion. Sora began sucking him with a steady rhythm that had Riku's breath wheezing in his chest.

_Sora, Sora, Sora_, was said over and over again like a chant, like a prayer, like a curse, until he came in a kaleidoscope of light and color that flickered behind his eyelids as he exploded into Sora's mouth. His back arched and he yelled Sora's name once more before he went limp, totally spent and dazed by the force of his release.

When he finally got his breath back he looked down his body to see Sora resting his cheek just above his groin, his breath tangible against him. Riku shuddered, feeling an after-shock of pleasure from just the memory of what they had done.

"Sora, are you…?"

"I'm fine." Sora said, gesturing down to his own body and blushing slightly. It was then that he realized that Sora must have stroked himself to completion while he was recovering. For a moment he felt angry that he hadn't been able to take care of Sora himself but the feeling was overtaken by the satisfied smile on the younger boy's face. Riku allowed himself to relax fully back into the pillows.

"It's a good thing your parents are never home," Sora said cheekily as he once more raised his head to look at Riku. Mischief sparkled in his eyes and Riku gave a low chuckle.

"I know. I kissed you in the foyer," he replied dryly.

"That's not all you did," Sora returned slyly and Riku swatted his head causing him to mock-pout and stick out his tongue.

"I know where that's been," Riku teased and Sora gave a gurgling laugh before he sat up and swatted Riku's thigh.

The unselfconsciousness of Sora's manner struck Riku as slightly off. While it was true that Sora had never been exactly shy around people, for him to show this level of unconcern with not only his own nudity, but the situation as well, was slightly strange.

But it couldn't be what he thought, could it?

"Sora?"

"Hm?" He had maneuvered himself so that he was lying beside Riku, his head pillowed on Riku's arm, staring up at the ceiling.

"This _was_ your first time, right? I mean I figure you might have kissed Kairi a couple of times but—" He broke off, frozen even as Sora was frozen, the younger boy going stiff on top of his arm, his fingers curling against Riku's chest until they formed a fist. Sora's swallow was audible as his fingers finally uncurled themselves and he looked up into Riku's face.

The sapphire of his eyes was shadowed, darkness having overtaken the clear blue, and Riku said nothing, couldn't manage to get words out over the tight knot in his chest that restricted his breathing and caused his eyes to tear.

Minutes ticked away, silence lay between them, as large, as noticeable and shocking as a great white elephant suddenly appearing in the corner of the room. They both knew it was there but there was nothing either could say. The last few minutes could not be undone; the intimacy of the moment had shattered, like colored glass that had broken into fragments.

Sora slowly sat up, his back to Riku as he began to pull on his jeans. His head stayed bowed for long moments before he turned to him and there was something stubborn in the expression, although his eyes begged for understanding, the lines forming above his brow in sorrowful marks.

"Riku…I…" Sora trailed off, as unsure how to break the uncomfortable silence that had shattered the small blissful peace as Riku. Riku didn't look at him; his eyes were locked to the ceiling. He breathed slowly, regulating it consciously so that his emotions didn't escape him. The thought of looking at Sora now hurt.

"I'm sorry. I am…only…" Sora trailed off again and then that stubborn expression once more crossed his face, a slight flush having risen to his cheeks, in anger or embarrassment, Riku was unsure.

"It was before you, Riku. Before any of this." Sora stood up, his jeans still half-buttoned and unzipped, his lean chest bare and gleaming in the pale light of the moon that shone faintly through Riku's window. "I never even considered that you would want me this way—"

"You were with someone else. A man." It wasn't a question. Sora's technique had been too good, too practiced for it to have been another boy. Someone with experience had taught Sora the finer points of…he couldn't finish the thought. His chest seized up again, once more making it hard to breathe.

"Riku, you're not hearing me," Sora said and stomped his foot. The gesture should have reminded Riku of a little boy throwing a tantrum, but when Sora turned around to face him, he saw Roxas in that look. Mulishness and determination were twined together and stamped into his expression. And now that he thought about it, it made sense that someone with Roxas's temper and passion should come from Sora. He had been there all along.

"I won't belittle my time with the man that I…" Sora swallowed before continuing, "…that was my first by making excuses. It happened. But—don't you see that doesn't matter now? You're all I want." Sora met Riku's eyes, his blue eyes pleading and sad. "You're all I want, Riku," he whispered again.

Sora could see in Riku's eyes that he didn't believe him. The aquamarine color was lightless, a hard opaque sheen covering them like the blindfold he had once worn so often.

"Riku—"

"Please, Sora. Don't say anymore." He sat up, and for the first time since their time together had started, he felt naked in front of Sora. He pulled the covers around his lower body, bringing the sheet up to his chest and leaning forward, allowing his heavy bangs to once more fall across his eyes.

"I need to think." Riku said.

The emptiness wedged behind the words was evident to Sora and he swallowed hard, tears rising to his eyes until they stung, bitter and sharp against the back of his eyelids.

"All right."

Sora finished dressing, the silence growing between them until it covered them like a heavy, stifling blanket, broken only by the rustle of his clothes as he zipped and buttoned, and tied the laces of his shoes.

"I'll see you later, Riku," Sora said softly, but his best friend didn't respond nor did he look up as he made his way to the door and closed it sadly and quietly behind him.

Five months after they had returned from darkness; that was when Riku began to realize that he was in love with Sora.

The pain was like nothing he had ever felt before. It wasn't the pain of twisting darkness that he had fought endlessly inside himself. It wasn't the sting of wounds from cuts and scrapes and bites given to him through countless battles with Heartless. It wasn't even close to the agonizing ache in his stomach that he had suffered when he first realized he was allergic to shellfish.

It was worse.

He didn't understand it, didn't understand himself. Sora was right and he knew it on a logical level. What had happened before him, before he had realized the direction his love for Sora had taken, was none of his business and had no place in the here and now.

They had been apart for a long time. They had still been connected through memories and fate, both Keyblade Bearers, both caught in the destiny that went with the title, but distance and time and Riku's bad choices had separated them. Sora had had every right to live his life as he could, to experience the world beyond Destiny Islands.

Why didn't the thought make him feel better?

Saturday passed quickly into Sunday, hours elapsing but holding no meaning to Riku who stared solemnly out at the rising sun until the bright orb hung high in the sky.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted his reverie and he turned to stare at it, somehow unsurprised to find Kairi there, peering into the room at him. She always knew when something was wrong with him or Sora. He had often teased her that she was psychic and she always smiled a bit mysteriously at him before winking and declaring that it didn't take a psychic to stay ahead of two idiots like Riku and Sora.

"Riku." His name was spoken softly and layered with understanding, her violet eyes noticeably concerned as she came to stand beside him at the window.

"Your mother let me in. She said you've been up here all day and haven't even come out to eat." Riku was silent until she sighed and tucked a stray lock of wine-colored hair behind her ear. "I was with Sora."

He still said nothing, allowing Kairi to make whatever point she wanted to make. She always had one and Riku always listened, even if he didn't take her advice.

"He seems really sad, Riku. I've never seen Sora like that." She swallowed and licked her lips, her eyes downcast as she reached over with a finger to trace the dust on the window sill, drawing a perfect heart into the gray grime.

"What happened? Won't you tell me? I tried with Sora but he clammed up. He's never done that before and I knew it had to be something to do with you."

"Why?"

"Why what?

"Why does that automatically mean it has to do with me?" Riku asked, swinging away from her to take a seat on the bed. The sheets and comforter were still a mess, the heavy scent that he and Sora made together lingering there, a fragrance that was both musky and sweet.

"Don't be an idiot," she scoffed, taking a seat at his desk chair.

Riku looked up at her with a cool lift of his eyebrow and questioning stare.

"It always has to do with you. You're his whole world."

The simplicity with which she said the words caused Riku's eyes to widen and his cool demeanor to fall away as his mouth hung open.

Kairi giggled once and bit her lip before she continued. "I've known since we got back how it was between you two. I've been waiting for you both to realize it. I've been extremely patient, really." She said this with a long suffering sigh and a martyred expression. Riku couldn't help but snort a laugh.

She smiled at him and then said, "Tell me."

Riku did. He started the tale in fits and starts, stilted words and garbled sentences, and then like a floodgate that had broken, it all began to pour from him.

He told her about when he had first begun to realize the direction his love for Sora had taken. He talked about his self-restraint over the course of these weeks, how he had held himself back from expressing his feelings for Sora out of fear that their relationship would change.

He told her about his date, about Sora's reaction to the news that he was going out with someone else. He blushed when he told her how he and Sora had finally come together; not revealing any real details, but still feeling awkward even as she smiled encouragingly.

And then he told her the rest: he explained to her in halting sentences that Sora's first time had been with someone other than himself, described to her his dismay at the discovery and expressed his confusion over why it bothered him so. He knew and could feel deep inside himself that Sora loved him. Why then was it such a big deal?

After his explanation had finished Kairi just stared at him as though he had grown two heads. Her eyes were wide and blank and Riku could feel tension begin to knot his shoulders. Maybe Kairi wasn't as okay with this as he had thought.

When she finally made a motion to speak her mouth opened and closed a few times before she managed to get out the words she wanted to say. "You really are a complete idiot," she told him. Riku was stunned at the fire in her eyes as she said this.

"Huh?"

"You _are_ an IDIOT," she informed him again, her voice rising sharply on the last word. "Sora traveled worlds—_**worlds**_—looking for you. He _cried_ when he finally found you. He _never_ cries. He didn't cry that time he broke his leg or the summer when his father left. But he cried for you!"

Her voice was no longer calm and each new syllable spoken rose in tone above the last one until she was yelling at him. "You—you stayed in darkness to protect him, to watch over him while he slept. You turned yourself into ANSEM!" Her chest rose and fell in heavy cadence and her violet eyes had darkened to indigo in her ire. "And here you sit, feeling SORRY for yourself while Sora's at home wallowing in misery. You two are both IDIOTS."

She rose and began to pace the room. Her teeth were noticeably gritted as she continued. "You're not upset because he was with someone else first. You're angry with yourself that you weren't there for Sora to turn to. You're angry and sad and drowning in self-pity because you weren't there for Sora. He never had the option to be with you. To make you his first."

Riku saw it all then. Yes, a large part of him felt possessive of Sora, wanted Sora to belong to only him, but that wasn't it. Sora _did_ belong to him. He believed that, had believed it since that day so short a time ago, yet so long, when they had been together, the two of them on that beach, and Sora had agreed that he was fine with staying in darkness as long as Riku was there.

He was angry at _himself_, angry that he couldn't have been there so that when Sora finally realized he was ready for love, Riku could've been right there beside him to share it.

"Now," Kairi said firmly, "you march yourself right over to Sora's. Tell him you love him. Tell him that it doesn't matter, that you've been an idiot." Riku smiled then for the first time since Sora had left the day before. He then stood from the bed, walking over to Kairi and staring down into her stern face then leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you," he whispered. He'd never meant the words more.

Kairi's eyes glinted with amusement and her lips, still held in a severe line, twitched at the corners. "You're welcome. Now get going."

Riku smiled and left, not even realizing that he wore no shoes.

Five months after they returned from destroying the Organization, defeating Xemnas, and sitting together on a Dark Beach—that was when Sora realized he would never want or need anyone the way he did Riku.

Sora was even then sitting on the little island, home to so many memories filled with both joy and pain. He leaned against the Paopu tree and stared out at the sea, the late afternoon sun casting rays over its surface that glittered like sequins upon a blue ball gown.

He was as miserable as Kairi had predicted. He should have expected Riku's reaction but somehow he hadn't. Maybe if he hadn't frozen up the way that had, had explained it to him calmly, had told Riku that while he was not his first, Sora wanted him to be his last.

Maybe.

Possibilities stretched before him, as endless as the sea, and in his current situation, about as useless. The only thing that could help him now was a time-machine and he was fresh out of those.

"Sora." His name was whispered as faintly as the sweet breeze that kissed his face and he turned his face into it, closing his eyes briefly before they opened and he stared up into eyes as turquoise as the water that surrounded the island.

"Riku," he whispered back, unable for a moment to believe that Riku was really there with him. It had taken months in Riku's presence before he lost the anxiety that his friend would disappear into a hole of darkness. During the last twenty-four hours the apprehension that had seemingly faded over the last few months had begun to stir within him again.

Riku came to stand beside him, propping his back against the bark of the tree and crossing his arms over his chest in that recognizable way. The familiarity of their positions, Sora standing with his arms above him, hands clasped behind his head, while Riku rested beside him in his customary stance, should have comforted him.

But it didn't.

Anxiety welled within him, sorrow as forcible as gravity pulling his mouth into a frown and tilting his large blue eyes down at the corners.

"I'm sorry," they said together. Then they stared at one another until both broke into small smiles, identical in nature but entirely different in form.

"I…" Sora began just as Riku opened his mouth too. He snorted a laugh and motioned for Sora to continue. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"No, you shouldn't have," Riku said and Sora's mouth dropped open. "It really isn't any of my business, Sora."

Sora was stunned, unsure of how to take that. Of course it was Riku's business. Sora had hurt him, however unwillingly it had happened. He opened his mouth to explain but Riku cut him off. "I wasn't there for you. It wasn't your fault, Sora."

"It wasn't yours either," he said hotly and Riku's mouth quirked up at the corner.

"Maybe, maybe not. But it doesn't really matter now."

Riku didn't look at him, his gaze was locked on the ocean once more and Sora couldn't discern what Riku was feeling no matter how he tried. He had always been good at sensing Riku's moods, despite his friend's ability to mask his expressions. But right then, with the salty breeze whispering kisses along his cheeks, he couldn't read Riku. The thought caused something to well up in his throat, a terror so strong that it lay both bitter and metallic against his tongue.

Sora was losing him.

"Riku, please," he entreated softly and his best-friend-turned-lover finally looked over at him. For long seconds they stared at one another until tears began to well in Sora's eyes. He didn't do anything to brush them away, he didn't even blink, and the salty drops formed track marks down his cheeks as they spilled over.

Riku lifted a hand, brushing his thumb against one and said quietly, "You never cry."

"I do for you," Sora whispered back. Riku smiled.

"I know."

"Please," Sora said again and Riku pulled him into a tight embrace, so close and tight that he almost couldn't breathe, but he didn't care.

He was home.

"I love you," they both said at once. This time when their eyes met in pleased surprise over their shared thought, their laughter rang out, Riku's husky baritone chuckle accompanied by Sora's chortling tenor.

Six months after they returned home, after the Door to Light was closed and Kingdom Hearts was once again safe, Sora and Riku strolled hand in hand down the beach. This new world, not made of land or sea or sky, was theirs for them to explore. It was one they didn't need to leave the islands to find; it was already there in Riku's glance and Sora's fingers entwined tightly with his own.

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